Google is leading a global charge to ensure that innovative internet companies stay on the straight and narrow. But what if things get out of hand? Read on …
Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
No sir this is Google’s pizza.
Sorry, I must have dialled a wrong number?
No sir, Google bought out Gordon’s Pizza a short while ago.
OK. Take my order please.
OK sir, would you like your usual?”
The usual? You know me?
According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.
OK! That’s it …
May I suggest this time you add ricotta, arugula with dry tomato toppings?
What? I hate vegetables.
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
How do you know that?
We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past seven years.
Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine.
Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly. We can see from our database, four months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets.
I bought more from another pharmacy.
Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.
I paid in cash.
But you did not withdraw that much cash, according to your recent bank statement.
I have another source of cash.
That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.
WHAT THE …..?
I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.
Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cellphone service and no one to spy on me.
I understand sir but you’ll need to renew your passport first as it expired six weeks ago!
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