Nescafé pitches the Pope

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THE VATICAN, Today: After receiving the Papal blessing, the Nescafé official whispers, “Your Holiness, we have an offer for you. Nescafé is prepared to donate $100 million to the church if you change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily coffee.’

The Pope responds, “That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.”

“Well, says the Nescafé man, we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.”

“My son, it is impossible, for the prayer is the word of the Lord, and it must not be changed.


“We will donate $500 million to this the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give us day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily coffee’.”

“The Nescafé guy says, “Your Holiness, we at Nescafé respect your adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer.

“We will donate $500 million – that’s half a billion dollars – to the great Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily coffee’. Please consider it.” And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals.”There is some good news,” he announces, “and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million.”

“And the bad news, your Holiness?” asks a Cardinal.

“We’re losing the Tip Top account!”


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